start

I think ive pondered the idea of escaping the never ending, underwhelming, overwhelming, addictive, frying that i feel when under the trance of aimless social media scrolling and viewing. Personally, i dont think i find myself on instagram much, weekly, maybe only enough times i can put on my fingers. And when i do find myself on it, its not to catch up with my friends, or to see the new exciting feed that i just cant miss out on, or to learn something, anything really- its because i have a few moments of nothingness, whe im opening up the fridge, or having a moment of free time at work.

The last time I grid posted on Instagram was dec. 2022. Although i occasionally find myself posting an instaragram story a few times a year. Which even then for the 24 hours its able to be up, it usually only lastsa about 6 of those. SOmething about the idea of being percieved without being presently aware of it, or to forget theres an idea and a moment of you being watched and view and looked at while you are somewhere, doing something entirely difffernt from the moment that was frozen in time, on a scren for someone to view and percieve long after...that lingering feeling when i rememeber i have a story or a grid post of an older lesser present lesser resonating version of myself is being seen, bleh! its the reason they dont last very long. Where, what part of me desires to share those little moments if i find it so nervewracking after? Is it as simple as the fear of being percieved? Is it all preformative? Why is it so much internal pressure to demand such a high level of perfection on social media, to be viewed correctly, to make sure the content is endeering and want0to-watchable.

Wow what a mess, its a really good thing im going to throw this into chat gpt after LMAO... some day im going to get organ-iz-iz-zized.

Moral of the story, that shit is not that serious, and it never was. For some reason, just not today, ill eventually be able to word it in a seetance how and why i dont find instagram the home for the archives i hold, i havent felt that platform feel non preformative in alooooong time, so to that, i present my own goddamned website, my own space to shit out all the pieces id like to share to whatever eye that catches it. How liberationg this feels,

with love

celina

also wanted to add, perhaps the tainted
view I have on instagram is a reflection of something within me. Which all could be possible....but that's okay. ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶l̶i̶m̶i̶n̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶-.
Anyways, this website allows me to freely release whatever pieces it is that I want to share with the web, without the construct of likes and views and engagement being relevant or even presently in front of my eyes. The comfort of knowing I put these on this page simply because I, just wanted to see it there, with my eyes, for my eyes, (and hello maybe yours too) ;) :)

im a saggitaruis, Ive been thinking a lot about a centaur tattoo.

tchau